I used to be so tiny. Ten years ago I weighed about 105 pounds which fit my five foot frame just fine but over the years I kept getting bigger and bigger. Of course I noticed that my weight was creeping up. When I was 25 I wore a size two. At 30 I wore a size four. By 35 I was uncomfortably squeezing into a size six and now in my late 30's I can barely zip up a size ten skirt.
I remember the first diet I tried was the Atkin's Diet when I was 29. I had noticed that my clothes were feeling quite snug (actually uncomfortably so) and I asked my friends to recommend a quick and easy diet. All of my friends raved about how much weight they had lost and that they were never hungry while on the Atkin's diet. So I decided to go on the Atkin's diet and see what it could do for me - mind you I did intersperse some exercise as part of the weight-loss regime but it was more of an after thought because I really didn't like to sweat, deal with the pain from working out and I didn't have much time because I was working full-time in a high stress career in addition to pursuing a masters degree. I wanted easy and Atkins fit the bill.
I loved being able to eat bacon, salami, pork rinds and just about anything that was high-fat and low-carb. I did get horrible headaches from cutting out the five to six cans of Coke I used to drink every day. I think that had more to do with caffeine withdrawl than Atkin's. I stuck with the diet for about two months and lost an amazing 15 pounds without really working out. But as with any lose weight quick diet (hindsight is beautiful isn't it?) it was a short term solution that stopped working once I was happy at my new weight. I soon started eating all the Atkin's prohibited foods and the weight gradually came back.
I don't blame the Atkin's Diet - I am sure it would have worked great if I was serious about lifestyle changes instead of a quick fix but I wasn't. Around this time I also noticed that the more stressed I was the more I would want to eat anything salty or sweet. I remember being stressed out of my mind at work, sitting at my desk eating chips and other junk food and then I would feel a comforting sensation as if everything was going to be okay. Now I realize that I was using food as an emotional crutch and that habit went back to my highschool days.
In junior highschool I used to take my lunch money and instead of buying a healthy lunch as my parent's expected me to I would go to the snack bar and load up on Gummi Bears, Sweet Tarts, Cokes, chocolate chip cookies and salty chips. I know that it sounds like a typical teen girl diet but I was eating this stuff on a daily basis and I was eating it because it brought me comfort when I was very unhappy.
I remember one particular episode in which I ate six giant Sweet Tarts, a bag of Gummi Bears and drank two cans of Sunkist Orange soda as I sat on a playground swing crying because I was feeling ostracized by my classmates and friends, my parents were constantly fighting and threatening divorce and I was doing poorly in school. As I devoured the junk food I felt better and better. My problem's certainly didn't vanish but while I was eating they seemed a distant memory. I think that on that day, on that swing I learned to find comfort in food.
UPDATE: March 31, 2007
Beth Rocchio from Rudd Sound Bites (an excellent blog you should book mark) posted the following :
In my practice as a family physician specializing in bariatric medicine, I frequently observe a strong connection between food and mood. Though many of my patients see this connection as well, most of them find it ”embarrassing” to admit. Lately, I have found myself using food advertisements to help my patients appreciate the connection between feelings and eating. Some examples I have found in junk food ads are:
- "Hello, happiness... Betty Crocker cake mix."
- “Every taste has a feeling.”
- “Temporary ecstasy. It tastes the way it feels to fall in love,” (read the rest)
I can attest to the power of food to provide comfort however I don't know that I would go so far as to blame the corporations for marketing and selling food the way they do but I do see how their marketing can be a bit insidious. I think to those susceptible to emotional eating the food commercials and ads may as well be the drug pusher in the dark alley promising us our next high. But I'm the type of gal who really BELIEVES in personal responsibility and as much as I'd like to blame anybody but myself for my problems I don't. Yes, Starbucks Seven Layer bar beckons me each and every time I start to feel stressed but in the end only I can make the final decision that will ultimately affect my well-being. Eat the treat, feel momentarily elated and then crash immediately as I am overcome by the disgust of my emotional eating or do I act responsibly acknowledge the stress, deal with the problem best that I can and eat an apple or go workout? I'd like to tell you that I choose the apple, workout and deal with the stress but I'm not there yet. I am working on it and the day will come when I will make the healthy choices but in the mean time I won't be blaming my poor decisions on any one but myself but by the same token I will definitely be following Beth Rocchio's advice and will begin closely examining the marketing messages attached to the foods I crave.
